‘No’ is your friend
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Saying no is good for your resilience.
If you pay specific attention to your energy, get perspective and pace yourself well, your Adaptive Capacity increases. And that’s the fuel in the tank of your Resilience Engine. This means that your capacity for change increases – as well as your wellbeing and performance. Nice one!
To do this you need to be able to say ‘No’ well, appropriately, and often.
The opposite? Saying yes to everything, which is not a healthy habit. There are lots of reasons behind this:
- If you are an adrenalin junkie, you will love feeling ‘busy, busy, busy’. And then it will catch up with you, and you will crash.
- If you say yes to please others, that might be because you need to figure out why you are worthy of pleasing yourself.
- If you say yes to rescue others, or indeed to stop them from becoming overwhelmed, you need to consider whose boundaries need bolstering. Yours? Theirs? Or both?
- If you say ‘yes’ to avoid saying ‘no’ because you think it will create a conflict which you can’t handle, then think again. Too many yes’s only build towards tiredness and resentment. This can build like a volcano, ready to explode into real conflict. Not good!
- Finally, if you’re saying yes to stuff because you just don’t have the time to figure out what you really should be doing, then STOP! You’re definitely on a fast, slippery slope to mediocre performance. Get off the slope, take some rest, and take the time to think about the criteria behind what you actually want and need to do.
Saying “no”. It’s all about boundaries.
Do you know what you need? If you do, do you ask for it? If you ask for it and it’s flouted, do you assert your needs?
“No”. Such a little word. Such a powerful word. Such a brilliant word for your resilience.
To discover more about how you can invest in your resilience, click here.
Author: Jenny Campbell, CEO of The Resilience Engine